Being a vintage kind of girl, it’s not too surprising that I
am a lover of the old fashioned things; well, there are some modern day
exceptions, my Iphone for example...could not live without Iphone, but most of
the things that I love are from years past by. Yesterday I went to the Ideal
Home Show, and watched a presentation regarding the house of the future. I
think I must have missed a beat, because, I just didn’t see the appeal.
It begins with front doors no longer requiring keys, as the
lock is operated using face recognition technology. Yes that’s all very nice,
but what is you have been attacked by a swarm of bees and your face is badly
stung, you finally get home, only to find out that your very own house will not
let you in. Is it really that much effort to turn a key in a lock?
The show continues with an array of kitchen appliances - Yes,
yes, very nice. I’m sure that’s lovely, but they didn’t rock my world..maybe that’s
because I’m such an appalling cook, but maybe it’s just because, I missed the
point.
So then they stepped it up a gear – reminder notes. Instead
of writing a shopping list, or memorandum, you show the house the item you need
to replace or take with you and it reminds you by text, email or siren as you
leave without the item. I don’t want to be told off for forgetting
things...especially not by my home. Oh, and on return it will tell you what you
are missing – well what use is that? If I get home and something is missing,
then I will have to go out again to get it!
But it doesn’t stop there; you can control your house by
being the remote. You can point at an object and state ‘on’ and the item turns
on. The example they began with was ’Kettle On’. Ok, so the kettle is on, but
you are still going to have to walk to the kettle to put the water in initially,
so why not flick the switch yourself? Even if you had the water ready and
waiting, you can’t then say ‘teabag into cup’or ‘milk into tea – not too
much-yes that’s enough – stop’. So you will still be walking to the kettle- so
what is the point of an automatic kettle switcher-on-er?
Music is another thing you can control. By making a twisty
movement with your hand (reminiscent of Roxy Harts impression of her husband’s
boob groping carburettor technique ‘I love you hunny, I love you’ in Chicago)
you can turn the music up or down. Now, forgive me, but if you are making
twisty movements in the air, why not do it on the physical stereo?
They also have speakers that create a ribbon of sound which
you can only hear when directly opposite- now this I thought was quite
brilliant, so if one of you wants to go to sleep, whilst the other wants to
watch telly, you wouldn’t be distracted by the noise...but then I began
thinking, what if you both wanted to watch tv? Must one of you use subtitles,
or would you have to sit on someone’s lap? Another concept that made a lovely whoosh
noise as it went over my head.
Finally there is an egg shaped bed. It’s from America and is
called the Transport Perceptual Pod and I think it costs about £12,000. It’s a waterbed that also plays music,
vibrates and wakes you up with sunrise emulating lights. Yes, yes, save your ‘oohs’.
Being egg shaped, it would be a bugger to get duvet covers for it, there is
only a small entrance into it, so it’s no good for claustrophobic sufferers, really
tall people, or rather round people, and ok, I
may be lowering the tone, but what if you wanted to do more than sleep? Think
it through...there was barely enough room for one person, let alone two.
So there you have it, the house of the future. Your house
decides whether to let you in, you then talk to the appliances to save that
sheer effort of switch flicking, and bed times are strictly for sleeping – in an
unborn chicken like method. What is there possibly not to love?
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