Many things complex me in the world, like – how do people run gracefully? Why is ‘definitely’ so hard to spell first time? And how comes my hammer keeps disappearing? Oh, I should point out at this point that I’m decorating – I don’t just randomly carry a hammer. Sorry digression again. The thing however that vexes me the most, is modern day dating. There is just so much to know, so much to do, and so much NOT to do. It’s utterly exhausting.
Oh my god. I actually just ‘googled’ dating and there are 743,000,000 results. Christ! If there are that many sites dedicated to the topic, no wonder it’s such a minefield. Who decided that dating should not only a fine-art but also a sport? What happened to plain old ‘boy meets girl’? What happened to the dizzy headrush of falling in love? Why must you pretend to un-interested and unavailable?
Pre-‘Hims’, dating was so simple. You went out dancing, you were bought a drink, shared a kiss, arranged to meet again, and then became an item. Simple. Now however, it’s a multitude of crucial decisions:
Firstly we are talking timelines. It used to be wait three days before communicating, but now, if you wait three days you are pretty much dead in the water. Some say you should arrange a future date before the first date has ended, others say wait a day before even thanking them for a nice evening. Why are there so many rules? If I have had a good time, I am likely to text them when I get in, to say thank you…is that really bad dating logic, or is it just good manners? Do manners even come into play?
Secondly, you need to choose your communiqué of preference - do you text, email, phone, or what is this poke-lark? Surely Poke-ing someone is further down the line?
Then you have to speak the lingo – I mean what is the difference between seeing and dating? I thought seeing and dating would be the same thing, oh foolish mortal. Apparently, seeing is the first stage, dating is the second. How many stages must one complete? And, what is dating? Is dating exclusive? How much time does one invest in each stage?
Does one want to be dated?
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